Living With Dementia
Article by Sharon Iremonger
My mum has been gone 3 years now dying at the age of 84. We really started to lose her 20 years earlier only we didn’t know at the time. My parents were the happiest couple in the world, loving great parents, to myself, sister and brother. Active in all our sporting adventures, school activities and as we grew into adults supported us in any way they could. They were never apart and dad was so protective of mum which we thought was lovely. We never knew mum had dementia for years, and I really don’t think dad did either. They lived with my sister in an apartment attached to my sister’s house which was great as they had security for their old age. Neither having to go into a “home” or so we thought. It was an ideal situation all round. I moved to another country 28 years ago and therefore the care was really left to my sister. I used to come back every year and on special occasions to see them. All was well until dad died at the “early” age of 74!
That’s when we started to notice little things with mum. Not much at first,my sister just kept telling me she was vague a lot and very forgetful. As I said not too much at first but on looking back later we realized dad’s protection of mum was that she had been like that for a long time. My sister took her to a doctor and he said she was in the early stages of dementia nothing to worry about would probably stay like that for years. Nothing was done as far as we knew there was nothing to be done. This situation lasted slowing getting worse over the years at first, then it moved very quickly. My sister was an angel all those years caring for her. I of course felt guilty living in another country and leaving her to do it all herself. Fortunately she had a wonderful husband! As I said it happens slowly at first till it gets to the stage they cannot be left alone at all. This becomes very draining on the person who is caring for them. My sister decided to keep mum at home as long as she could.
Mum was fine for a while but started to become frustrated and upset a lot and very very forgetful. It was easier to agree with her than to try and explain as she never grasped things anymore. The hardest thing was my sister and I deciding it was time for her to go to a home for proper and specialized care. My sister’s guilt was unfounded but she still went through a bad time with the decision. Supporting her and flying over more regularly was the only thing to do. Wish I had of know there was help to understand this very sad disease. I have now found sites through going to my ebook superstore cbdeluxe to research and get help on the subject. I did not have a computer then.
The last few years were very sad as she started to fail to even know me when I visited – there were times I’d go to see her and she thought I was her mother or sister. She always recognized my sister which was lovely. My sister went to see her every day. You see how sad and demanding this disease is. Fortunately they are starting to make great discoveries now to help – too late for our family. When you visit these hospices you really realize how many people suffer this fate. They seem to be ok in themselves just confused while the families lose them completely even though they are still living. Mum went very peacefully in the end – she had a wonderful life – so sad we were missing from it in her later years. Do what I said if you have a family member with dementia – research and find out all you can about it to help you understand.
More can be found on my blog at http://gr8riches.com/gr8blog
About the Author
Sharon has spent more than 20 years in sales and marketing positions and now does marketing for online ventures.Sharon can be contacted at her website http://www.cbdeluxe.com/?mall=18847 More information on this subject can be found at my blog at http://gr8riches.com/gr8blog